So who is this guy, writing weird thoughts and being a seemingly mess of words?
I’m a guy who works, who isn’t rich, and works hard for his money. I’m a soldier. I’m in the US Army and I love my life and job. I’m a faithful spouse, a fun guy, and would probably have a career in music if I were still home in Nashville. I consider myself pretty religious except that is what starts my seemingly conflicting views: I’ve been having a problem with church.
As of lately I’ve noticed church has become a Country Club mentality.
By that I mean you have to be a certain standard, a certain level, have a particular attitude to be ‘better’ than other Churches and other denominations. We grow by ‘collecting’ members- not by equipping them for ministry and having THEM bring people into the Church. We want people like us, that do as we do, so we can talk about the same thing over a cup of coffee on Sundays. We do not volunteer because that gets in the way. We expect service instead of actually trying to serve.
My biggest realization was when I visited a local “big church” and the pastor preached for 30 mins on what love is— by starting out “Love is NOT tolerant!” Through a masterful storytelling of “Little Johnny” and “Little Susie” stories I learned about “love” (or a version of it). At the end of the sermon it hit me: no scripture was read! I had spent the last 30 mins listening to opinion, and most of that I completely disagreed with. It sounded good though! The congregation loved the stories and the non-challenging message with no call to change themselves. It was a weird cycle of self-reassurance and back-patting.
At this time I also realized that I would be embarrassed to bring my friends, some people who don’t go to church, to this church. When I placed myself in their shoes I felt hated for not being ‘good’ enough. In fact, I’m probably not “spiritual enough” for these people either.
I no longer want to go to church. I don’t like to go to church. Will my time be better spent at home? Does this make me less of a believer; does this diminish my faith?
What I believe (as is found in Matt, Mark, Luke and John of the Bible): Jesus wouldn’t be good enough for this church. He hung out with gamblers, thieves, drunks, prostitutes (or today: drug users, tran-sexuals, and of course drunks, gluttons, and prostitutes). In the scripture Jesus was judged for the company he kept by religious leaders! But who today in the church will reach out to those who need help?
I believe the “Church” should not be a sanctuary for self-assured “Saints”, but a hospital for sinners– those broken and needing help. If you have been abused, divorced, drank yourself under the table, had a hit of something to help you forget, have struggled with sexual secrets, been judged or just are plain ‘ol freakin’ tired– this blog is for you.
I may list my frustrations, but I will also list my encouragements. I’ll be honest about myself. I believe those who honestly search for truth will find it.
If you believe in hope, if you need spiritual hope then read with me. If you believe in God, but aren’t sure about anything in life, anything spiritual, and want some encouragement then read with me. If you don’t believe in God and want to see what a non-crazy working-man guy with faith does day to day, read with me.
Please: open discussion, no name calling.
Eventually I will close with a witty quote involving spiritual truths. But for now, a verse that has guided me well over the years.
Psalm 118:5
“In my anguish I cried out to the Lord and He answered by setting me free.”
